inessential by Brent Simmons


There are times when I feel compelled to say totally inappropriate things, just to get a laugh or whatever. But rules of good taste, politics, getting along with people -- these things often prevent me.

For instance, today I was going to write just one sentence, and leave my weblog at that. "My dick is 10 1/2 inches long and thick as a roll of duct tape."

Imagine that sentence, alone. You might have spewed coffee out your nose. Or you might have decided never to visit my site again. Or you might have been concerned that I've gone nuts.

Most likely you would have said, "Oh great, thanks for sharing, ya freakin' freak."

Are the gods doing any better today than yesterday with their battle against stupidity, meanness, etc.? Nope. Things have gotten marginally worse. They're totally asleep on the job.

At the risk of sounding like a total geek, I'll admit to digging Klingon theology. They killed their gods. Sounds like a plan. They're apparently worthless anyway.

I'm clearly not "getting along with people" today. Nor am I getting laughs, unfortunately. The worst of both worlds.

Guess what? Chickenbutt.