inessential by Brent Simmons


Are the terrorists now trying to kill us with boredom?

"Another case of anthrax reported..."

"Heavy bombing tonight in Kandahar..."

Oh, shut up.

This is like OJ and Monica and Condit and Bakker and Hart and Tonya Harding and Saddam and Rodney King and Woody Allen and Florida and Swaggart and Abscam and John Rocker and the Menendez brothers all rolled into one.

The only thing we have to fear is... the sheer awful terror of boredom. Waking up in a cold sweat for lack of stimulation. The inanity of the fixed idea, the children's song that gets stuck in your head. B-I-N-G-O! And Bingo was his name-oh.

The river of Time seems to have frozen solid.

Tip for Manila users:

IE 6 for Windows sometimes centers all or much of the content on a page for no readily apparent reason. It looks awful.

Sure, it's a browser bug, but you can work around it on your own sites. Here's how:

If you have a <!DOCTYPE...> tag at the top of your template, make sure it doesn't include the URL.

In other words, if it looks like this:

<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN" "">

Edit it so it looks like this:

<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">

That's all there is to it.

Boat shoes. Boat shoes boat shoes boat shoes boat shoes. Boat shoes.

I'm not wearing no boat shoes.