inessential by Brent Simmons


I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

Relax—you’re soaking in it.

Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.

We will sell no wine before its time.

The quicker-picker-upper.

Where’s the beef?

Here comes the big number one.

Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.

Plop plop, fizz fizz—oh what a relief it is.

Follow your nose. It always knows. The flavor of fruit.

Only you can prevent forest fires.

I’ve got that not-so-fresh feeling.

You deserve a break today.

It’s the real thing.

Here’s to good friends. Tonight is kind of special. The beer we’ll pour—it must be something more, somehow. So tonight... let it be Lowenbrau.

Grab a Heiney!

Don’t squeeze the Charmin.

The pause that refreshes.

Is Gillette Foamy thick and rich enough to hold up this husky hiker? No!

I want my MTV.

Give a hoot—don’t pollute.