inessential by Brent Simmons

12/12/01

I cried because I had no shoes—until I met a man with an extra pair, and he gave me them, and I stopped crying.

First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Communists and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they let all those guys go, and I was sure glad. Whew.

Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. He’ll say, “Mmmm. Fish. Thanks.”

Give a man a steak, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to raise and butcher cattle, and he’ll be all, “Where am I going to get the money to start a farm? Sheesh.”

Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to give fish to other men, and people will be thanking him all the time for the fish.

Give a man a hoagie, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to make hoagies, and he’ll burn out on them pretty quick and start thinking about how he’d like to eat some fish, or anything, just something besides these damn hoagies all the time.

I cried because I had no shoes—until my wife slapped me in the face and said, “Go to the shoe store, y’idiot.”

Go ahead and cry over spilt milk—’cause I’m gonna hit you upside the head for being such a dumb-ass klutz.

Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll take super-long trips to the Keys to fish for marlin, leaving his wife and kids behind in Roanoke. And they’ll be real sore at you.

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F7, Cmd-B, Cmd-M—I wish IDE makers would decide.